How Sophia discovered "Self-Love"
Chiyono: Hi Sofia! First, please tell us about your current job.
Sofia: Hey Chiyono! I work under the title of "Self-esteem instructor" or "Self-love instructor." Specifically, I guide people who are suffering from mental wellness problems caused by low self-esteem to increase self-love and self-esteem.
Chiyono: I think this is still not a very common job in Japan, so what made you start this job?
Sofia: I've dreamed of working for the United Nations since I was a teenager. After graduating from graduate school in Paris, I got a job at an international organization in France. I was ecstatic that I had won in life because I was able to get into an organization that is said to be even more difficult to get into than the United Nations. However, for some reason, I gradually became mentally ill. I wondered why I was so unhappy, even though I was working in the place I dreamed of and living in the city I longed for. I eventually had suicidal thoughts, and quitting that job was the trigger for me to take the time to face myself. As I practiced several healing processes and gradually felt myself healing, I shared what I had learned and the ideas that were helpful to me on social media, and I had more opportunities to hear people say things like, "It was very helpful" and "I felt the same way," and I felt like I had finally found what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to fulfill this as a job, so I started studying psychology and coaching in earnest, and that's how I got to where I am now.
Chiyono: What do you think was the reason you felt depressed when you thought your dream had come true?
Sofia: I think I was more concerned with wanting to be recognized by my parents and those around me than with whether what I was aiming for was right for me or what I really wanted to do. I had very low self-esteem, so I had a strong desire for my parents to say "well done" and for people around me to think "that's amazing." If you ask me if it was something I really wanted to do from the bottom of my heart, I'm sure the answer was no.
Chiyono: I'm sure there are many people who put a burden on themselves, wanting to be someone respected by their parents or others. They don't ask themselves what they really want to do, and they end up not knowing. Sofia, you were born to a Japanese father and a Costa Rican mother. Like me, have you ever felt any influence from being half-Japanese?
Sofia: Yes. I think one of the reasons for my low self-esteem is that I have strong memories of being treated like a foreigner and bullied during my childhood in Japan. I was born in Japan and only lived in Japan at the time, and even though I thought of myself as Japanese, the people around me didn't recognize me as such. I felt pressured because no matter what I did, I stood out strangely. I was denying my true self, thinking that I had to act more Japanese or do this in order to be recognized by everyone.
Chiyono: That's really unfortunate and a waste. Even if they don't mean any harm, people can be deeply hurt by the lack of understanding of others, and can carry those feelings with them even into adulthood. Perhaps if your true self is denied during your childhood or other periods of your most impressionable years, you may lose sight of what you really want to do and what you like.
Sofia: Maybe there is an underlying trend that when people from different cultures come to Japan, they are told, "You're a foreigner, but please behave like a Japanese person." Like, "You're just a visitor, right?" But in order to accept more diversity in the future, I think it's important to accept that "you're fine just the way you are."
Chiyono: That's right. For example, culture and tastes such as what clothes to wear and the language to choose to speak are important forms of self-expression that humans have free will. It's wrong to unilaterally impose rules on such individuality.
Sofia: I think it's the same even between Japanese people. Even though each person has their own unique personality, there is an unspoken rule everywhere that you have to be the same as everyone else.
“
"You're fine just the way you are."
It is important to acknowledge that"
What does Sophia think about "self-love"?
Chiyono: Indeed, on the other hand, there may be many people who have a complex identity that they cannot use as an excuse for being a foreigner or half-Japanese, and feel that "I should be like this because I'm Japanese." Of course, it's not just nationality, but also because I'm a woman, a mother, or because I'm xx... So, what does Sophia think self-love is?
Sofia: I think the first thing is to love and accept yourself as you are. It may be very difficult, but you can make an effort to become that way, or change your way of thinking little by little so that you can become that way. I think that in itself is self-love. The second thing is to forgive yourself. Many people have a hard time forgiving themselves for mistakes or failures that hurt someone in the past, and they feel guilty. If you feel guilty, it's hard to forgive yourself. If you can't forgive, it's hard to love yourself. But there's no such thing as a perfect person in the first place. Everyone makes mistakes. It's important to acknowledge that and forgive yourself.
Chiyono: Accepting things as they are and loving them, letting go of past guilt and forgiving yourself. I see, that's right. Anything else?
Sofia: It's also important to take care of both your body and mind in a balanced way. Find what makes you feel good both physically and mentally, including the exercise, food, and clothing you choose, and continue doing it.
Chiyono: When it comes to comfort, everyone has different priorities. For example, for me, I feel excited when my skin is in good condition or when I'm wearing my favorite lingerie, so those are my priorities. But for Sophia and others, it might be completely different. That's why you need to take the time and energy to listen carefully to yourself and what you want and what you're lacking. And then, it's important to make up for the elements that you're currently lacking.
Sofia: That's true. However, in reality, we are all so busy with our daily schedules that we tend to put off listening to our inner voice. Some people have so little time that they barely have time to sleep. That's why I think it's important to make time for yourself first.
Chiyono: Everyone only has 24 hours in a day, so time management is a very important life skill. The first step may be to take the time to listen to yourself and take care of yourself at a comfortable pace, whether that be daily, weekly, or monthly.
Sofia: Many of my clients tend to overcommit on a daily basis. For example, they can't say no when someone asks them to do something. People like that first need to face why they can't say NO. Is it because they're afraid of hurting the other person, or because they're afraid that they won't get something if they don't go? I think it will be easier to secure your own time if you think about what to say the next time you're invited.
Chiyono: It's true that if you push yourself too hard, even cutting into your own time, out of fear that turning down an invitation will make you feel like you've lost out or that you'll never be invited again, it can throw off your balance.
Sofia: That's why you need to remember that your own time is important to you. If you don't have time for yourself, you'll get irritated and take it out on the people you like, and you won't be able to perform at your best. It's important to understand that you can't be your best self unless you make it a priority and secure this time.
“
What is Self-Love?
Love, accept and forgive yourself as you are"
A process for dealing with self-criticism and self-negation
Chiyono: How should you approach people who have such self-denial and self-critical tendencies?
Sofia: First of all, I want to tell you that if you are aware of your complexes and negative thoughts, that is a big step and amazing in itself. Most people have such complexes but don't realize it or don't want to admit it. The next step is to face your own feelings and memories and ask yourself, "Why am I not confident? Since when have I had complexes?" For example, if you feel complexed about the words "too manly" or "act more feminine," try to remember when, what happened, and who said what to you. Maybe events like when you were in junior high school and a guy you liked called you to be too manly, or when you wore girly clothes and your female friends teased you for being a bratty girl, have instilled fear and feelings of inferiority in you.
When you look back as an adult, you'll realize that it was just a middle schooler's opinion, not necessarily a fact. You'll probably realize later, "Why did I believe what a 13-year-old told me?" This process is called inner child healing, and for some people, it can be hard at first, and they may cry because they don't want to remember, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, so I hope you'll give it a try.
Chiyono: It seems like getting there would be a sense of freedom. Some of Chiyono Anne's customers are attracted to sensual designs like all-lace bras and thongs, but decide that they can't wear them, or that their breasts have changed shape since giving birth and they can't wear those kinds of bras.
Sofia: In psychology, we call these limiting thoughts that we have inside of ourselves true. No one is born with these thoughts, they are something we have created in the course of our lives. If you want to wear something but don't give yourself permission to do so, I think it's an important process to reflect on why that is.
“
There is light at the end of facing the causes of your complexes
"
Chiyono: Some of these may be traditional restrictions or assumptions, such as ideas about chastity, that have been created outside of personal experience.
Sofia: I think many people are afraid that if they suddenly wear sexy lingerie that is different from usual, their partner might not love them or accept them. But if he really loves you, he will love you no matter what you wear, so I want you to realize that this is not the case. What suggestions do you have for such people?
Chiyono: When I say sensual design, I don't just mean the appearance, I also think about the texture and the change in feeling when wearing it. So, the design is orthodox, but I make it so that you can feel the sensuality when the high-quality silk material touches your skin, or if it's a negligee, you can feel the silk fibers all over your body when you walk, and you can feel feminine through the touch. Or the feeling of wearing your favorite color, even if you can't wear it as an outerwear. I listen in detail to the feel of the skin and how you want to look when you look in the mirror, and try to incorporate that into the design as much as possible.
Sofia: Creating lingerie for yourself with Chiyono Anne may be a kind of healing process. I think the brand philosophy has the message that every body is beautiful, every body is worthy of wearing beautiful lingerie, and body shape doesn't matter. This is something that Chiyono herself can say because she has seen the bodies of thousands of women, so it's really convincing.
Chiyono: Indeed, as a brand, we have always been saying that we make lingerie for ourselves, rather than for our partners, and many people actually come to make lingerie as a reward for themselves or to increase their motivation. For such people, by showing their true selves to others (me) and honestly telling them what they like and dislike in an open environment (the atelier), they may realize that the things they felt insecure about are not actually something to be ashamed of. I believe that by looking at the finished lingerie, they can remember the feelings and images they had imagined when wearing it before making it, and get a little closer to the person they want to be, which can lead to self-love.
Sofia’s Hint:
Quick Training to Start Self-Love
Daily Affirmations
Chiyono: Finally, could you tell us some tips and methods for easily trying to reset your mind in your daily life?
Sofia: Affirmations are something you can do easily, anytime and anywhere. In other words, positive words. For example, say positive words like "I will take better care of myself" or "I will start to love my body" out loud many times a day. There is always a lot of information flowing through our heads, and the more negative people are, the more negative words they hear. To resist this, repeating positive words to yourself will change your thought process. This has actually been scientifically verified. There are many affirmation videos on YouTube, so I recommend listening to them while commuting. Are you doing anything, Chiyono?
Chiyono: I don't know if I can call it affirmation, but before I go to sleep, I try to tell my partner what happened today and what I'm thinking, as if I'm writing a diary. Even if I make a small mistake, I'll do this next time, or I'll change like this from tomorrow. I also write things down on paper. Because of my job, I often absorb things visually, so I feel like putting things in writing makes it easier to accept them.
Sofia: I think writing it down on paper is a great idea. I also recommend sticking the paper you wrote on somewhere you can see it, or taking a photo of it and setting it as your smartphone wallpaper. Different people find different ways to accept it, so it's best to do it in a way that suits you.
Chiyono: Are there any golden words that you would recommend to people who are new to affirmations?
Sofia: The standard affirmation is "I love and accept myself," but some people reject it, saying, "No, I don't love myself or accept myself." In that case, try arranging it into words like, "I am starting to love myself" or "I am starting the process of loving myself," whatever words resonate with you. Affirmations are concepts, not set words, so feel free to start with words that resonate with you.
Chiyono: It's important to continue using words that are comfortable to you. Can you tell us some tips on how to make it a habit?
Sofia: I do it as soon as I wake up in the morning, so I can start my day with a good feeling. However, everyone has their ups and downs, such as when someone calls me and I feel down, or when the weather is bad and I'm tired, so I set my smartphone alarm for lunch and evening and repeat the affirmation words I've decided. I call it the "joy alarm," and when the alarm goes off, I read out five words three times each. It doesn't have to be out loud, and it shouldn't take more than a minute. If you're conscious of smiling at that time, your mood will stabilize. Just smiling releases happy hormones, so I recommend doing it three times a day as a habit.
Chiyono: It's probably similar to a supplement. It doesn't have an immediate effect, but it gradually permeates all of your cells and before you know it, you start thinking that way.
Sofia: When I first saw the affirmation "I love and accept myself," I thought, "What is this? Isn't this stupid? There's no way I can change just by saying something like this." At the time, I really rejected it, but I still wanted to change, so I tried it.
Chiyono: It's amazing how even people who thought like that can change so much. I've seen it on Sophia's Instagram, but I realized I wasn't doing it for myself. When I'm busy, I tend to put it off, but it doesn't take much time, so I thought I'd try to make it a habit starting tomorrow.
Sofia: I think that there is only one person who will always be with you in your life, and that person is yourself. Because you are the only person you will be with for the rest of your life, I want everyone to improve their relationship with themselves, cherish themselves, and create a happy life.
Moriyama Sophia
Born in Japan, educated in Paris, Sydney, Costa Rica and Japan. Graduated from the Master's program at Sciences Po Paris. Trilingual in English, Japanese and Spanish. Works as an internationally certified NLP practitioner, CBT practitioner and life coach, spreading knowledge on how to cultivate self-love and self-esteem and mental wellness, with the mission of empowering as many people as possible.
Instagram:@lovelightsofia
Based on the theme of "Borderless," Chiyono Anne's "Silk Pajama Set" is an item that can be used seamlessly across various boundaries such as gender, age, and body type.
Another plus is that it can be worn in any situation, whether it's relaxing at home, going out or dressing up, depending on how you coordinate it.
This time, together with my friend Sakiko, the director of ADELAIDE, I will be introducing borderless styles for the Silk Pajama Series.
Pair it with high-waisted jeans and matching leather sandals
Navy Shirt
These pajama shirts come in two sizes, SM and ML, and feature a loose silhouette that can be worn by both men and women.
This item is cute whether worn oversized for a relaxed look, or with the hem narrowed for a cropped length.
By wearing high-waisted denim bottoms, you can create a casual look that matches the trendy Y2K mood.
Add to WishlistCA Home
Silk Pajama SetSilk pajama set
¥92,400
LILY × SHOCKING PINK 
NAVY × STEEL
An elegant way to wear an oversized shirt tied in front and with a long length hanging down at the back
Tie it at the waist to make your legs look longer.
Lily Shirt
A stylish combination of a just-right sized shirt and cycling shorts.
The front and back are designed to be different lengths, and the side slits make your legs look longer.
Add an edge to your look by wearing stylish sandals.
Because it is a high-quality silk shirt, it can be worn with activewear and still look modern.
Add to WishlistSold out
Essential Line
Lace tote bagレーストートバック
¥12,100
Add to WishlistCA Home
Silk Pajama SetSilk pajama set
¥92,400
WHITE x WHITE 
WHITE x BEIGE 
BLACK x BLACK 
BLACK x BEIGE
We recommend pairing it with shoes that will make your feet look longer and slender.
Pair it with a lace tote bag for a casual look
The perfect outfit for a day when you'll be moving around a lot!
Duck Egg Shirt
Pair it with black leather bottoms and a stylish bag or shoes for an instantly sophisticated look.
Wear the LUNA series bra top as an inner layer and show off the sensual original lace. If you button it up, tuck it half in for a sophisticated look.
Add to WishlistCA Home
Silk Pajama SetSilk pajama set
¥92,400
Add to WishlistLUNA
Non-Wire Bra Top CustomNon-wired bra top
¥34,100
Enjoy matching different materials and pair it with vegan leather pants that match the luster of silk.
We recommend leaving the bottom button open to show off your innerwear for a summery look.
It's cool and casual, but also fun with cute bags and brightly colored shoes.
Navy PJ Shorts
Pajama shorts also have a beautiful silhouette and are made from a shiny material, making them a versatile item that can also be used to dress up your outfit depending on how you coordinate them.
It's cute to wear it loosely with an oversized knit, but this time I'm tucking in a top in a matching color tone to create a dress-like style. Pair it with a trench coat and accessories with a stylish design to create a mature look.
Add to WishlistCA Home
Silk Pajama SetSilk pajama set
¥92,400
We recommend an oversized jacket so that your silk shorts can peek out as you move.
In the photo, she is wearing a men's trench coat.
Pair it with sexy pumps
Find your favourite colour!
Have you found your favorite shade?
"Pajamas are only for sleeping"
Sometimes it's best to forget about that notion and try adding it to your own unique outfit!
Clothing has various meanings and roles for the outside world and for the inner self. It can also be said that each piece of clothing has its own unique "border." For example, a uniform presents the wearer's role and occupation to the outside world. Since a uniform can only be worn by people with that role, it can be said that there is a border there.
As women living in society, we dress ourselves in a way that is in line with what is considered to be a certain way or desirable depending on our position (although the degree of this varies from person to person). These standards include age, occupation, and sometimes marital status. Depending on our position, we are subject to society's demands that we should be roughly within a certain range, even if it is not clearly stated.
私自身、こうであるべき自分にふさわしく「ちゃんと」見えるよう、無意識に自分の姿をそれらの要求に合わせていると気づくことがあります。私はデザイナーだから、デザイナーらしくファッショナブルにしなくちゃ、また私はCEOでもあるので、プロフェッショナルらしくしなくちゃ、３０代前半の女性として子供っぽくなく、かつ老け過ぎないように……などなど。
At the same time, fashion can of course cross these boundaries and become a means of self-expression and individuality that escapes the oppression of societal standards for appearance. There are many women who enjoy creatively creating and expressing their own style and appearance.
2018 Christmas Gift Card ¥50,000
¥55,000 (tax included)
2018 Christmas Gift Card ¥50,000
¥55,000 (tax included)
2018 Christmas Gift Card ¥50,000
¥55,000 (tax included)
2018 Christmas Gift Card ¥50,000
¥55,000 (tax included)
On the other hand, I am particularly interested in what kind of signals we can send to our inner selves through what we wear.
Sometimes, outward signs and inward signs overlap. For example, when you wear a formal suit, you are sending out the sign of being "professional" in the traditional sense. Your shoulders are naturally straight and your back is naturally straight. When you put on a suit, your posture changes in this way, and at the same time, your psychology also changes. You feel tense and get into a business-like state of mind. Similarly, when you put on a pretty silk negligee, the delicate silk and lace touching your skin stimulates the senses of touch throughout your body, making it easier to feel feminine and sensitive.
2018 Christmas Gift Card ¥50,000
¥55,000 (tax included)
Among them, the type of clothing I've been interested in recently is pajamas.
Originally, pajamas were worn while sleeping. At best, they were considered room wear. However, the latest fashion trends inspired by pajamas are expanding the boundaries of pajamas in one fell swoop. There are differing opinions on what constitutes pajamas, but I think the common condition for pajamas is that they are "comfortable to wear." There are many different fabrics, cuts, fit, and colors, but pajamas are all comfortable to wear. And they are relaxing. So, what if we could make that comfort available all day long?
シンプルだけどエレガントで洗練されたデザインは、年齢も社会的な立場も、そして性別もTPOの決まり事も越えることが出来ます。ならば、シンプルで質の良いパジャマのシャツは、他の衣類との組み合わせやコーディネート次第でどんな場面でも着ることができるはず。20代から80代＋まで全ての女性が着られる服。全ての男性も年齢を問わず同じようにナチュラルに着こなすことができ、着心地を楽しめる服。これこそ最もボーダーレスな衣類と呼べるのではないかと私は思います。
We hope that our silk pajama sets will help you experience a relaxing, high-quality, and comfortable experience in your daily life.
Please let us know your thoughts and opinions.
Thank you for reading to the end.
Anne Chiyono xx
We assign many references and meanings to our clothing, both pointing outwards to the world and inwards to ourselves. These can also be considered as “borders” assigned to the pieces of clothing. For example, by wearing a uniform, we are presenting our profession to the world. The uniform is only accessible to people in that field, so that is the border of that item.
As women in this society, we present ourselves (to a degree which differs for every woman) in accordance with the ideals and expectations our society places on us. How we are “supposed” to look and dress. This can depend on our age, profession, even marital status. There are subtle but certain borders in the range of what is “acceptable presentation” for each genre of women.
To be “proper” or be seen as respectable, I sometimes even catch myself molding my appearance to what is apparently appropriate for me: I am a designer, so I have to look fashionable, but I am also a CEO so I have to look professional, I am in my early 30s so I have to look not-too-young, not-too-old, etc.
Of course, fashion can be a break from these borders, an escape from these societal standards in our appearance and translate as a form of self-expression and individuality. Creating, curating, and controlling our own style and overall appearance liberates and excites many of us.
What I personally find interesting, however, are the signs we can give ourselves – the ones pointing inwards – through our clothing.
Sometimes the inward and outward signs overlap: if we wear a formal suit jacket, we would be presenting as traditionally “professional”. Our shoulders would be held squarely, our backs straight. This change in posture caused by the suit jacket has an emotional effect as well. The straight back and stiff shoulders can put our mind in an alert state, ready for “business”. Similarly, when we slip into a dainty silk negligee, the touch of silk and lace can heighten the sense of touch all over the body and increase a feeling of femininity, sensuousness, or sensitivity.
Another garment which I have come to be interested in is the Pajama.
Traditionally, the pajama is exclusively sleepwear, or at least room-wear. However, the recent years of pajama-inspired fashion trends has made the borders of where it is acceptable to wear pajamas more malleable. There could be many interpretations of what defines a Pajama, but I believe all interpretations include “comfort”. Whether it be the fabric, the cut, the fit, or the color palette, pajamas are all comfortable, and comforting in some way.
But shouldn’t it be acceptable to carry that feeling of comfort all throughout the day?
This is where my chain of thought began of which piece of clothing can be the most “borderless”. With the right styling and coordination with other garments, I couldn't think of a general social situation where it is totally unacceptable to wear a simple , good quality “pyjama” shirt. An elegant and understated design can transcend age and social groups, and even flow seamlessly through gender groups and TPO expectations. I wanted to create a piece that can be worn by a woman in her 20s through to 80s , or even a man in in the same age range and still look natural and provide that feeling of comfort.
Through our new “Silk Pajama Set”, I hope to enrich our customers day-to-day ease and quality of comfort. I hope you enjoy wearing our new product, and I look forward to your feedback and any thoughts you may have in return for us at Chiyono Anne!
Thank you for reading to the end.
Anne Chiyono xx
What does Kaori think about "personal training"?
Chiyono: Let's get started by asking Kaori to introduce herself.
Kaori:After graduating from university, I started working as a personal trainer at a gym, and in 2010 I started a gym called "DEPORTARE CLUB" with the representative, Takeshita, and have been working as the chief trainer there ever since. It's been 19 years since I became a trainer, and I'm just about to enter my 20th year.
Chiyono:Kaori's training is based on the premise of training, but she also listens to each person's physical condition, mood, amount of sleep, and diet on that day, and creates a personalized menu to suit their current situation. She doesn't make everyone do the same thing, but adjusts the order and intensity to suit each person's condition at the time. Since meeting Kaori, I've come to realize that "building a body" doesn't just mean training, but has a broad meaning that includes both the body and the mind of the person.
Kaori:When I first became a trainer, I felt like I was being told to follow existing methods, restrict my diet, and do this training, just like I was being given a manual, but those ready-made methods can sometimes cause problems for me, or sometimes it works in one place but not in another. From my experience, I now try to create a menu together with my clients, taking into account not only their physical condition, but also their mental state. But this is something that is also common to the lingerie that Chiyono makes.
What the two think about "self-love"
Chiyono: I think we have a lot in common because we both have personal jobs. By the way, what do you think about the theme of this time, "self-love"?
Kaori:When it comes to building a body, I think it's important to believe in yourself. Especially in Japan, there is a culture where humility is considered an aesthetic, and I think many people feel that they confirm their existence by denying themselves. Normally, I think that working on something to overcome your complexes or showing that you have done this much leads to confidence, but if you can't do that, you become depressed and start to worry more and more about the people around you. That person eats a lot but is completely thin, or I'm holding back so much, so why am I fat? Suddenly, the arrow tends to point outwards. I think that people who are hard on themselves can't worry about others, and that's what leads to self-love.
Chiyono:I totally agree. It's not about whether you believe in yourself or whether you're the same as the people around you, but whether you're doing enough for yourself. If you can truly love and care for yourself, then you'll gradually recognize your own value and won't feel inferior over small things like "I'm no good!" This goes for your daily habits, exercise, clothes, lingerie, food, friends, everything. I think self-love comes from the accumulation of what kind of people you want to associate with, what you put into your body, and what you do.
Kaori:Yes, yes. It's all connected.
Chiyono:You can't fake it when it comes to yourself, so even if you say "I'm the best!" on your lips, if you don't feel that way deep down inside, you might not know how you really feel, and true happiness might become a little farther away. That's why it's important to really take care of yourself in various aspects, rather than following a set routine like "do this exercise" or "eat this." It's important to take care of everything, including your relationships with people close to you, the things you put in your body, and the space you live in.
Kaori:I think that such a healthy cycle is becoming increasingly important, especially during this COVID-19 pandemic. While there are people who are doing this properly and are able to truly accept themselves, there are also people who cannot stop comparing themselves to others, becoming jealous and writing negative comments. I feel that this difference will continue to widen.
Chiyono:A big part of self-love is that it's not about success that can be measured from the outside, like making a lot of money, looking amazing, or living in your dream house. That's why it's normal not to think of yourself as perfect, and I think it's based on the feeling that you're okay where you are now, and that you're okay with who you are. I started thinking about this when I actually interacted with customers and felt them denying themselves, saying things like, "I want to try on this lingerie, but I can't get a fitting until I lose weight," or "I can never show this body," but have you had a similar experience, Kaori?
How do you deal with your complexes?
Kaori:It's true that some people say, "I can't go until I lose weight." The gym should be a chance to change your body or something, but the idea that you can't go until you've changed because you feel embarrassed is a bit off.
Chiyono:That's right. I don't make lingerie to show off your perfect body, but rather to help you love your body as it is now, to feel more grateful for it, and to take care of it. I want people to embrace and cherish themselves as they are now.
Kaori:Whether good or bad, you are unique at that time. Women especially have menstruation, and in parallel with the cycle of their physical condition, various flows such as their work and lifestyle come on top of it. In such a fluctuating day-to-day life, it is important to know how to accept yourself as you are. In that sense, I think that a unique item like Chiyono Anne's lingerie can act as a talisman. It is always closest to your body, and only a limited number of people with a personal relationship can see it. That's why I think it's so wonderful to wear something that makes you think, "This is what I'm going to do today."
Chiyono: Thank you! By the way, do you have any complexes about yourself?
Kaori:In my case, it's my height. I played basketball up until college, and if you're over 170cm, you're seen as a big guy off the court. My clothes didn't fit me at all, and I used to intentionally slacken my posture to make myself look shorter. Also, I had a really toned butt from playing basketball, and it didn't bother me overseas, but in Japan, I felt like it was weirdly noticeable, and I was conflicted because I thought a smaller butt would be prettier.
“
Whether good times or bad, you are unique at that time.
It is important to know how to accept your existence as you are
"
Chiyono:Amazing! It's the exact opposite of me! I grew up in London and New York, but my body developed slower than my friends, and even as a teenager I always had a childlike figure, small, thin and light, which I hated. Whenever people told me I was cute, I would get angry and say, "I'm not cute, I'm woman!" I just wanted to grow, even if it was just horizontally, so I ate potato chips every day and tried my best, but it didn't work at all (laughs). My friends around me wore nice lingerie, and at parties they looked great in dresses that showed off their feminine body lines, like Britney Spears or Destiny Child, but when I wore them, they were just too thin. They didn't have my size in the first place, and when I went to buy lingerie in the UK, I was sad because I was recommended cotton crop tops for 12-year-olds even though I was 16 years old. If I had lived in Japan, it might have been normal, and I think I would have more options now, but at that time I was just a mass of complexes about being small.
Kaori:Thinking about it now, I think that thinking that either of us was too big or too small was really just wishful thinking. In the end, you are you. I can't get any smaller, and I think Chiyono's skinny figure is wonderful, but I've come to think that this body, including my butt, which was my insecurities, is who I am and my charm point.
The two people's method for "positive thinking"
Chiyono: When did your way of thinking start to change?
Kaori:It's probably been about the last two or three years. Before that, I would often try to understand what others thought of me and what they wanted, but when COVID-19 came and everything stopped, I had to change, and as a result, I feel like my awareness has changed too.
Chiyono:In my case, when I find myself thinking that I wish I was more like this, I make a list of the things I've been able to do because of this body to bring my attention back to myself. I've become conscious of being grateful for my current situation, but at the same time telling myself that I'm still incomplete, and turning it into motivation to say, "I couldn't do this this year, but I'll definitely do it next year."
Kaori:That list is wonderful.
Chiyono:I also try to focus on what I can do thanks to this body, not on its shape but on its functions. It doesn't have to be something amazing. I think it helps me a lot to remember the basic things, like how I can move freely every day, work, and eat delicious food thanks to this body.
Kaori:People tend to focus on what they couldn't do, but it's very important to look at what you can do now. I feel like many women check themselves negatively, saying things like, "I'm no good here, I'm no good there," or "I'm inferior to that person," so it's definitely a good idea to make a positive checklist. I think that ultimately it will lead to accepting yourself.
Chiyono:Kaori, if you come across someone close to you or a customer who is struggling, how do you deal with them?
Kaori:I try to guess how a customer is feeling today by the atmosphere when they come in. For example, when you're irritated, your heart rate goes up. In those cases, rather than encouraging them with movements that will increase their heart rate, I create a menu with simple movements and training that requires them to breathe slowly to calm them down. Conversely, for those who are feeling down, I first do training that will increase their breathing to burn off energy, and then I tell them that it's okay to let it out if they can. In this way, I feel like I'm following the balance between the mind and body. How about you, Chiyono?
“
When you find yourself thinking, "I wish I was like this,"
In order to bring your awareness back to yourself, make a list of all the things you have been able to do in this body up until now.
"
Chiyono:In my case, I first try to think of ways to do fittings. Some people write that they are not confident about their bodies before making a reservation, so in those cases I move the mirror a little further away and measure their dimensions quickly and accurately. From there, I immediately move on to talking about the design, and in order to help them forget about inferiority complexes and embarrassment and expand their dreams in a positive way, I ask them in depth questions about their favorite colors and how they want to feel when wearing it. Rather than focusing on the shape and size of their body, I value how they feel when wearing it. For example, since Chiyono Anne's products are mainly made of silk, I try to focus on the positive aspects such as the comfort of having your skin wrapped in silk, the feeling that it fits your body properly, the careful support of your bust, and the unique overall comfort. It would be great if you could let go of your complexes and negative thoughts about your body and think that it is "fun" to talk about yourself as you are and what kind of lingerie you want. All that's left is to work hard to make the product exactly as you want it to be.
Kaori:It's very important to be sympathetic to the other person's image. Many people focus on their weight as the purpose of going to the gym, but I try to ask them about the image they have when they reach their target weight. I listen to whether they can become that image if they achieve their target weight, and what they want to do when they become that image, and then I think about the best menu each time. I face customers one-on-one, but it's the customers themselves who actually do it. In the extreme, we can't do anything. For example, we are like a car navigation system. If you enter your destination, we can suggest several routes, whether it's the local or the highway, but sometimes people who choose the highway don't get it right and change their route to the local roads, and some people can get there smoothly, but some people drive in the wrong direction or stall and wait for the JAF. Anyway, I think it's all about thinking about what's best for each day and making suggestions. Also, it's difficult to spend every day at 100 points, so if you work hard for about five days, you should eat what you like and spend two days doing what you like. It's very important to know what makes your body happy. There are many supplements, but if you detox once, your body will be cleansed. The first step in supporting a child is to subtract rather than add, and to get rid of what is unnecessary before adding what is truly necessary.
“
It is important to know what makes your body happy.
Very important
"
Chiyono:It's reliable. That's what it means to listen to your body. Instead of just putting in things that are considered good, think about what you really need. However, it takes a lot of courage and confidence to make that decision, so it's also connected to self-love. Among my customers, there are quite a few who worry about the change in the shape of their breasts after giving birth and breastfeeding, or the area around their stomach after giving birth, but I think that such changes are not something to be ashamed of at all, and that it's not a "bad" look or shape, and that it's natural that they will change from their previous self because they have become a mother. Because children grow thanks to those breasts, I think they are truly precious. Of course, if you want, you can put in wires to push up or correct them, but rather than just correcting them and making them "beautiful," I try to make positive use of the fact that I have these breasts, and correct their shape as a finishing touch at the very end, because the current state is beautiful in the flow of a woman's life. I hope that it will be a time to return to yourself, and that it will be an opportunity to start a new self-love from there, or an opportunity to find a new self or the person you want to be. From the moment you come across your favorite colors and fabrics and think together about the design that will make your dreams come true, to the moment you wear the completed lingerie, it's an exciting experience. As the years go by, you can have it repaired if necessary and use it with care. I hope that these experiences will become like a talisman that shines brightly in your life, and that even when you become a grandmother, you can pick it up and remember "This is what I was like back then."
Kaori:In that sense, these bespoke items that allow you to mark each stage of your life are great because they mark who you are now and remind you of what you were like at that time by wearing them.
Chiyono:Although Kaori and I each have different approaches to interacting with customers, I feel we have a lot in common in that we build relationships that are like one-on-one life partners.
Kaori:Many of my customers remain beautiful without ever forgetting their femininity, and I think this lingerie is one of the elements that makes them beautiful. Even if they have a boyish appearance, they choose feminine underwear that others can't see. It's the only part of them that can't be seen from the outside, so they can be the most honest with themselves. I think that because it's something that's so close to them, many people stay in contact with us for a long time.
Kaori’s Hint:
Quick Training to build a body that looks good in lingerie
Hint ① Under Band Training
Chiyono:Finally, I would like to ask you to share some exercises that our readers can easily do at home. A common problem with customers is that the underside of a bra needs to be tight enough to support the breasts, but if it is too tight, it digs into the flesh at the sides and creates a gap. Are there any exercises that can easily tone up the back and sides?
Kaori:For a simple one, reach your hands back and twist your thumbs outward from the base of your shoulders. Then bring them back and twist them again. If you do this while pulling your arms back as far as possible, you will also pull your upper arms, which will make your chest feel open. After doing this a few times, your shoulders will naturally drop.
Chiyono:It also helps correct slouching. Your neck will look slimmer and your bust will be in a better position.
Kaori:Then, just stretch your back. Stretch your arms straight up and then drop them straight to the side. They will fall smoothly. I think it will look nice if your shoulder blades are open.
Hint ② Hip Training
Chiyono:Another problem is around the hips. If the position of the pelvis is misaligned and the stomach sticks out, it can be difficult to maintain a beautiful shape of the hips. Is there a reset technique that can lift the hips by returning the pelvis to the correct position?
Kaori:If you often sit at a desk, the area around the base of your legs is often stiff. In that case, I recommend putting one foot on a chair, placing your weight on your front leg, and stretching it out. Be aware of stretching the base of your thigh. For advanced users, it is more effective to bend the leg stretched out behind you and pull it towards your back.
Kaori Miura
Born in 1980 in Ibaraki Prefecture. After graduating from the Faculty of Education at Waseda University, she studied abroad in the United States to provide training instruction. Using the techniques she learned there, she supports many athletes and celebrities in improving their performance, bodybuilding, and dieting. She is currently featured in various media as "the personal trainer who is the hardest to book," and is active in many areas, including supervising exercises. February 2020: First book "The POSITIVE KAORI Method for Aging Gracefully" (Kobunsha)
Instagram:@positivkaori